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18 Thoughts on Rogue One

MAY 2017: ROGUE ONE

    • Imperial ships: still a better transport method than giant eagles.
    • Good thing these Imperial pilots chose a flight path directly over where Jyn was playing, so she could run home right in time to run away.
    • I know this all takes place in a galaxy far, far away and long, long ago, but are there no bloodhounds in this distant past? Or, at least, any domesticated beast that can sniff out people hiding in a cave? Seems like a Doberman Pinscher could have tracked down little Jyn’s cubbyhole pretty damned quickly.
    • Why is there always gravity on the space ships in these movies? Shouldn’t they all be floating around?
    • Seriously these imperial dudes are straight up wearing bed pans on their heads.
    • I’m also going to need a primer on how in the SW universe, anyone can speak any damn language they want, and everyone understands each other.
    • “I’ve never had the luxury of political opinions.” GREAT LINE
    • After seeing an actor who’s been dead a few decades act a new role in this movie, I trust nothing.
    • K-2, aka SnarkBot, is now my favorite droid EVAH.
    • In the marketplace, this guy appears to be cooking live octopus. THEY’RE ON TOP OF A SACRED MOUNTAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESSERT. WHERE DID HE GET OCTOPUS?
    • Maybe the Empire should reduce their pew-pew weapons budget and get storm troopers some armor that actually stands up to being whacked really hard with a stick.
    • I didn’t know Cable was in this movie.
    • Jedha just went boom, meaning that little crying girl Jyn almost got killed saving a few minutes ago? Yeah, she’s dead now. Just in case you didn’t know where this movie was heading….
    • Good thing Erso decided to walk out in the open on to an unguarded platform the very second Cassian got in a position to spot him from his hidden vantage point. THE VERY SAME SECOND.
    • The blast from the Imperial ship as it takes off nearly throws Jyn off the edge of the landing pad. Her dad, who is closer to the blast but dying, doesn’t budge an inch.
    • #VADERSPA
    • Who wore it better?
vs.
vs.
  • #SPOILER# They all DIE? DIE? DIE? I don’t know whether to applaud such a HUGE risky gutsy move in a franchise known for its bittersweet endings, or be pissed off because they ALL FREAKING DIE.

 

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